Ears. Open.

Listening:

NY Is Killing Me - Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie xx

Rolling In The Deep - Adele

The Great Escape - Patrick Watson

Machines - Emma Davis

Eric Is Dead - Panda Su

In Our Circle - Guineafowl

The Wilhelm Scream - James Blake

Resurrection

I often like to think back and try to remember exactly how everything a year ago from today. I do it once every so often, because it continuously reaffirms the idea that everything is transient and the only real constant is change.

A year ago from today, I woke up in my college bed, loosely wrapped in a red velvet toga and covered from head to toe in red glitter and paint. My suitcase lay half packed in the middle of the floor and I had about half an hour to catch a train.

Toga Party was the night before and all of us had gotten ridiculously drunk one last time before college broke up for Easter. The one song that I remember playing on my iPod on the train home (which I made, thanks to a nifty taxi driver) was Example's "Watch The Sun Come Up".

A year ago, I was still enjoying the final strains of senior year in college. I hadn't really settled down all that much from first year uni and everything still seemed a bit of a shambles as I working out everything around me. I toyed with the idea of being with people I didn't really care all that much about to try and feel something again. Thinking again about how everything had been a year ago.

And today, a year later, I woke up in my own bed. Thinking partly about the night before, partly about how much I've grown. Smiling, thinking about how everything is going at the moment, not knowing how long it's going to last, not having any permanent reassurance that it will all work out for the best and somehow being okay with it.

"Some time later there was a song in the jukeboxes on the Upper East Side that went “but where is the schoolgirl who used to be me,” and if it was late enough at night I used to wonder that. I know now that almost everyone wonders something like that, sooner or later and no matter what he or she is doing, but one of the mixed blessings of being twenty and twenty-one and even twenty-three is the conviction that nothing like this, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, has ever happened to anyone before."

Goodbye to all that - Joan Didion

you're stuck in my mind, all of the time

I got a necklace like this off my friend for Christmas. I love the fact that the bird is outside of the cage. I don't know whether that sentiment is related to feminism or not but it doesn't matter.

I love the way he secretly left it inside a glass jar next to my computer. I don't know what I love more, the fact he thought to put it in a jar or that he pretended he needed my computer in order to secretly put it there.

And I love how hard I smile when I'm near him.

What an crazy 2 or so months it's been since I've last written substantially.

I left Australia for Taiwan at the start of December for an amazing exchange that I will never forget. I met so many friendly, interesting people and I think I spent just the right amount of time there to still be in love with the place and get to know it properly.

I think I'm only going to keep using the word amazing, so I'll just briefly note all the things I did: bubble tea, karaoke, so many different parts of a pig I'd initially thought inedible, the world's best beef noodle soup, monkeys in Kaohsiung, NYE on top of a building watching the fireworks on 101 in Taipei, rode over 14kms on a bike to the sea, watched the sunset at the beach on Christmas Day, got my haircut in a cute little salon where I wasn't completely sure if the hairdresser understood all my directions, went to some cool clubs and bars, drinks in the Shangri-La on Christmas, spent too much money on clothes, had hot pot multiple times (the fun way to eat!), rode on a scooter, took over 3000 photos, threw up (food poisoning and alcohol. I'm just a lucky person I guess), stalked small Taiwanese children, picked tea in the mountains, went to numerous markets, ate chicken steak (soooo yummy!), foot massages, saw the international flora expo in Taipei, saw the Gauguin exhibition at the biggest modern art gallery in Asia, went on many a night bike riding journey, visited so many clothes stores and cafes, spent a weekend in Guanziling at a triad infested hotspring (so, so fun!), ate too much honey toast (an unbelievable dessert, google image search it, what your eyes see will defy belief, so delicious!), ate too much food in so many different places, street vendors and restaurants and realised what I wanted.

We were paired with students from the uni we did exchange at and made some amazing friends. Living in Taiwan, breathing, eating and enjoying Taiwan, meant that we were forced to speak Mandarin, which made it a fantastic opportunity to both learn and appreciate the culture. My speaking improved 10 fold, I can manage passable conversations, watch Taiwanese dramas and my Australian accent when speaking has more or less disappeared.

I'm so glad I did it.

At the moment, my situation is a little like this. I still haven't quite worked it out yet.

P.S. I will post about Taiwan soon!

Another Christmas where I don't want anything in particular. I just wish everyone a safe and happy holiday, with family or friends or in solitary, as long as you're happy and at peace.

Did I mention I was in Taiwan?

looking out at ripples on the dancefloor

This my dear audience is me sans four wisdom teeth. I look like I played chubby-wubby-bunnies one too many times. But in my funny little attempt at disrupting the airbrushed nature of some blogs, here it is.

This amazing album cover is the work of Aki Miyajima, whose gorgeous works can be found here. I first saw her work in Japan last year at the digmeout exhibition in Tokyo.

And I literally just caught the tail end of a piece on the ABC about a relatively new modern Muslim women's magazine called "Aquila". Ever since discovering Under Urooba's Umbrella, a fellow blogger, I have been fascinated with the role of fashion within Islam.

Here is just one of the beautiful spreads.

Hopefully my face loses the swelling soon and I hope you've all had a lovely weekend :)

there is love left in my life, you will see

I'm sure you've all seen this picture before. It was one of the first pictures I took with my DSLR and it made me realise how you can create entire emotions, times and events with images alone.

This fine bearded gentleman goes by the name of William Fitzsimmons and his music is gorgeous and weighted with feeling. He has a really interesting life story, both his parents are both blind yet accomplished musicians and he worked with the disabled for a number of years. I came across his music when I found it on my friend's itunes player.

In terms of musical finds, I've also discovered the joys of "Even Better Than The Real Thing" a charity cd series of Irish (?) musicians doing covers of trashy pop singles. It's fantastic.

I'm off to Sydney tonight for my friend Kenny's 21st on Saturday. I'm really excited to see everyone's new houses and to see everyone again, it's been a whole week! I've officially finished college now, it was a bittersweet feeling.

This is my family at my little sister's graduation. For someone who usually treks around in a baggy Radiohead t-shirt and addidas trackies, she did pretty well. I almost died when I saw her after she came back from having her hair done. It was spectacular.

My sister is odd in that respect. She's not really a typical teenager. She doesn't even have a facebook. I asked her how she would go about with life without it next year, especially starting uni and she replied that she would ring her friends and live just fine without it. It's almost debilitating to think about life sans FB. In the non-silliest sense of that line.

Anyway, here is the car I'm thinking about buying next year. I've never owned a car before, so it'll be an experience to say the least.

and everyday i waited for you, on the hood of your car

Correlation between increased posting during exam period??

How on earth did you deduce that you clever thing!

Cutest band ever! The Drums are lyrically speaking of course. Melancholy lyrics set to upbeat tunes results in an overall optimistic effect. Very similar to Surfer Blood? And a little bit like the Cure.

I am going to Taiwan now for summer and maybe America, which would be super exciting. But Taiwan is happening for sure.

Exams suck ass.