awkward digressions

Ears. Open.

2011-04-23T18:11:00.001+10:00

Listening:

NY Is Killing Me - Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie xx

Rolling In The Deep - Adele

The Great Escape - Patrick Watson

Machines - Emma Davis

Eric Is Dead - Panda Su

In Our Circle - Guineafowl

The Wilhelm Scream - James Blake

Resurrection

2011-04-22T15:52:00.005+10:00

I often like to think back and try to remember exactly how everything a year ago from today. I do it once every so often, because it continuously reaffirms the idea that everything is transient and the only real constant is change.

A year ago from today, I woke up in my college bed, loosely wrapped in a red velvet toga and covered from head to toe in red glitter and paint. My suitcase lay half packed in the middle of the floor and I had about half an hour to catch a train.

Toga Party was the night before and all of us had gotten ridiculously drunk one last time before college broke up for Easter. The one song that I remember playing on my iPod on the train home (which I made, thanks to a nifty taxi driver) was Example's "Watch The Sun Come Up".

A year ago, I was still enjoying the final strains of senior year in college. I hadn't really settled down all that much from first year uni and everything still seemed a bit of a shambles as I working out everything around me. I toyed with the idea of being with people I didn't really care all that much about to try and feel something again. Thinking again about how everything had been a year ago.

And today, a year later, I woke up in my own bed. Thinking partly about the night before, partly about how much I've grown. Smiling, thinking about how everything is going at the moment, not knowing how long it's going to last, not having any permanent reassurance that it will all work out for the best and somehow being okay with it.

"Some time later there was a song in the jukeboxes on the Upper East Side that went “but where is the schoolgirl who used to be me,” and if it was late enough at night I used to wonder that. I know now that almost everyone wonders something like that, sooner or later and no matter what he or she is doing, but one of the mixed blessings of being twenty and twenty-one and even twenty-three is the conviction that nothing like this, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, has ever happened to anyone before."

Goodbye to all that - Joan Didion

you're stuck in my mind, all of the time

2011-02-14T13:02:00.000+11:00

I got a necklace like this off my friend for Christmas. I love the fact that the bird is outside of the cage. I don't know whether that sentiment is related to feminism or not but it doesn't matter.

I love the way he secretly left it inside a glass jar next to my computer. I don't know what I love more, the fact he thought to put it in a jar or that he pretended he needed my computer in order to secretly put it there.

And I love how hard I smile when I'm near him.

2011-02-09T19:40:00.000+11:00

What an crazy 2 or so months it's been since I've last written substantially.

I left Australia for Taiwan at the start of December for an amazing exchange that I will never forget. I met so many friendly, interesting people and I think I spent just the right amount of time there to still be in love with the place and get to know it properly.

I think I'm only going to keep using the word amazing, so I'll just briefly note all the things I did: bubble tea, karaoke, so many different parts of a pig I'd initially thought inedible, the world's best beef noodle soup, monkeys in Kaohsiung, NYE on top of a building watching the fireworks on 101 in Taipei, rode over 14kms on a bike to the sea, watched the sunset at the beach on Christmas Day, got my haircut in a cute little salon where I wasn't completely sure if the hairdresser understood all my directions, went to some cool clubs and bars, drinks in the Shangri-La on Christmas, spent too much money on clothes, had hot pot multiple times (the fun way to eat!), rode on a scooter, took over 3000 photos, threw up (food poisoning and alcohol. I'm just a lucky person I guess), stalked small Taiwanese children, picked tea in the mountains, went to numerous markets, ate chicken steak (soooo yummy!), foot massages, saw the international flora expo in Taipei, saw the Gauguin exhibition at the biggest modern art gallery in Asia, went on many a night bike riding journey, visited so many clothes stores and cafes, spent a weekend in Guanziling at a triad infested hotspring (so, so fun!), ate too much honey toast (an unbelievable dessert, google image search it, what your eyes see will defy belief, so delicious!), ate too much food in so many different places, street vendors and restaurants and realised what I wanted.

We were paired with students from the uni we did exchange at and made some amazing friends. Living in Taiwan, breathing, eating and enjoying Taiwan, meant that we were forced to speak Mandarin, which made it a fantastic opportunity to both learn and appreciate the culture. My speaking improved 10 fold, I can manage passable conversations, watch Taiwanese dramas and my Australian accent when speaking has more or less disappeared.

I'm so glad I did it.

2011-01-28T20:58:00.000+11:00

At the moment, my situation is a little like this. I still haven't quite worked it out yet.

P.S. I will post about Taiwan soon!

2010-12-25T05:08:00.001+11:00

Another Christmas where I don't want anything in particular. I just wish everyone a safe and happy holiday, with family or friends or in solitary, as long as you're happy and at peace.

2010-12-19T01:12:00.000+11:00

Did I mention I was in Taiwan?

looking out at ripples on the dancefloor

2010-11-28T11:33:00.000+11:00

This my dear audience is me sans four wisdom teeth. I look like I played chubby-wubby-bunnies one too many times. But in my funny little attempt at disrupting the airbrushed nature of some blogs, here it is.

This amazing album cover is the work of Aki Miyajima, whose gorgeous works can be found here. I first saw her work in Japan last year at the digmeout exhibition in Tokyo.

And I literally just caught the tail end of a piece on the ABC about a relatively new modern Muslim women's magazine called "Aquila". Ever since discovering Under Urooba's Umbrella, a fellow blogger, I have been fascinated with the role of fashion within Islam.

Here is just one of the beautiful spreads.

Hopefully my face loses the swelling soon and I hope you've all had a lovely weekend :)

there is love left in my life, you will see

2010-11-17T19:25:00.000+11:00

I'm sure you've all seen this picture before. It was one of the first pictures I took with my DSLR and it made me realise how you can create entire emotions, times and events with images alone.

This fine bearded gentleman goes by the name of William Fitzsimmons and his music is gorgeous and weighted with feeling. He has a really interesting life story, both his parents are both blind yet accomplished musicians and he worked with the disabled for a number of years. I came across his music when I found it on my friend's itunes player.

In terms of musical finds, I've also discovered the joys of "Even Better Than The Real Thing" a charity cd series of Irish (?) musicians doing covers of trashy pop singles. It's fantastic.

I'm off to Sydney tonight for my friend Kenny's 21st on Saturday. I'm really excited to see everyone's new houses and to see everyone again, it's been a whole week! I've officially finished college now, it was a bittersweet feeling.

This is my family at my little sister's graduation. For someone who usually treks around in a baggy Radiohead t-shirt and addidas trackies, she did pretty well. I almost died when I saw her after she came back from having her hair done. It was spectacular.

My sister is odd in that respect. She's not really a typical teenager. She doesn't even have a facebook. I asked her how she would go about with life without it next year, especially starting uni and she replied that she would ring her friends and live just fine without it. It's almost debilitating to think about life sans FB. In the non-silliest sense of that line.

Anyway, here is the car I'm thinking about buying next year. I've never owned a car before, so it'll be an experience to say the least.

and everyday i waited for you, on the hood of your car

2010-10-29T11:52:00.000+11:00

Correlation between increased posting during exam period??

How on earth did you deduce that you clever thing!

Cutest band ever! The Drums are lyrically speaking of course. Melancholy lyrics set to upbeat tunes results in an overall optimistic effect. Very similar to Surfer Blood? And a little bit like the Cure.

I am going to Taiwan now for summer and maybe America, which would be super exciting. But Taiwan is happening for sure.

Exams suck ass.

jump in the pool

2010-10-23T11:02:00.001+11:00

What a week. And once more in the blogging world, I can go on about anything and everything that I want.

So much can happen in the space of a week. 168 hours.

What I did this week: climbed to the top of a construction site, went swimming in the ocean after our after party, drank too much sangria, did Oktoberfest, wore a long black dress, received a gift, did two tests, was late for one test, got a new laptop, spent too much time in one spot with one person, yelled at the publishing company for not getting the job done on time, danced on the stage at some weird little back alley pub.

This is a photo from Valedictory.

This was valedictory last year.

These are the boys.

On a completely unrelated note, this is S. Carey an American singer/ songwriter. His music is a cross between Bon Iver and Jose Gonzalez.

I officially went over to the darkside on Monday. I purchased a MacBook Pro.

I thought it would be harder to make the switch, considering I've used a 'normal' computer my entire life, except the time my cousin got the G3 400Mhz iMac. And I used to think that was so cool. A big, fat tangerine coloured computer with a built in harddrive. I'm thankful in a way, that I grew up with a bit of a closet computer nerd cousin. I definitely learnt more than I ever could have from a life-time subscription to PC Authority.

We had dinner last night in Glebe. It was Mexican at Flying Fajita Sistas and it was so fun. So many tortillas, wraps, dips, Coronas and sangria.

This was the spice rack aptly titled the "Wall of Pain".

The menus were cute, the interior was so vibrant and there were zero tacky Mexican souvenirs anyway. Fantastic.

I'm not too sure about this picture/words which seems to strive for a feminist standpoint. I don't believe that a woman holding the possibility of sex is her ultimate power, nor should it be emphasised as such. It simplifies women down to one minute aspect of their capabilities and the same can be said for men. Running around knowing that you can screw anyone around you isn't such a special or empowering feeling.

and even she learned to live with it

2010-10-11T19:47:00.001+11:00

This is a pretty fair summation of what I'm feeling at the moment.

The girls in college are finally deciding to finalize their groups, in order to move out next year. And it is one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. And I'm not even really a part of it.

I'm moving out with my sister next year, so I've dodged the dramas. And dramas there are.

It's terrible when tiny little fights, schemes and backstabbing make you see your friends in a completely different light. It's saddening and utterly frustrating.

I think I'm 'over' college in general. We have Oktoberfest this week and a dress-up ball on Friday and we've only really got a week left of college, but I'm really reaching the end of my tether, with everyone and everything. I'm essentially getting the seven week itch, in terms of college breaks, because we just haven't had one in a while and some other travel plans fell through, and on top of that, I'm drowning in tests and assignments (like everyone else) and I'm just so over everything. It feels like everything is going nowhere, nothing is actually happening and I don't want to know the outcome, more than I can care to admit.

I'm leaving it there.

One New Message

2010-10-03T22:51:00.000+11:00

sit down, give me your hand. I'm going to tell you the future...

2010-09-22T22:24:00.000+10:00

I have recently gone through a phase of constantly needing my nails to be some ridiculous dark colour.

It all began the afternoon, I wrapped my little nails with the beautiful deep, almost black but not quite "Linkin Park After Dark" by O.P.I. Ever since I borrowed it off a friend, I decided to scour the stores for a cheaper but as dark alternative. Nothing quite hit the mark, it was either much too light or too thick, which I sometimes find the Revlon and Loreal polishes to be.

But today, almost by accident, I happened across a table of Sally Hansen polishes and what should I find but 'Pat on the Black'. A name which not only includes part of my name, but after three smooth easy coats, delivers a punchy burst of shiny colour in the desired shade. Goodness, I'm getting quite taken by this nailpolish business.

Should you want to do some nail art of your own, check out Lacquer Boudoir , a delightful little blog, which outlines polishes and steps to create amazing works of portable, temporary art. The nails are the new canvas!

This whole week at college has been Love Week, an entire week dedicated to wooing, dining and flirtatiously coercing your set partner into a marriage which culminates at the end. I was lucky enough to paired with a very easygoing fresher named Jared, a bit of a ladies man but generally funny guy. Monday was spent, catcalling and claiming each other for our own. The efforts were stepped up on Tuesday, with inappropriate and tacky photoshopping, and a romantic dinner for two with the rest of the "couples". Finally on Wednesday, he proposed. My friend and I had gone to beach, to return to find our 'boyfriends', in suit jackets and boardies. They took us out onto the balcony, where they had set up a beautiful candlelit dinner, complete with champagne, chocolates and plastic rings floating in our glasses. Needless to say we were ever so impressed. Even despite the fact that they had already eaten their dinner first, because they had gotten hungry waiting.

And then tomorrow night, the couple with the best proposal will get married! I think my friend Kenny will probably win. He got a group of boys in jackets and guitars to strum along to "I Wanna Grow Old With You" from The Wedding Singer on a balcony, down to his girl, who was standing in a love heart chalked on the road, while he threw rose petals down to her as the sun was setting. It was so gorgeous.

Here are a bunch of outfits taken over the past week. I don't really know to do better outfit shots, the mirror/ selfies are the best I can do at the moment!

What I wore today: Standard combination - boyfriend blazer, oversized t-shirt and Minkpink shorts.

One of the dresses I bought today. It was only $5! And there is a pretty little cutout at the back.

What I wore yesterday - I also had coffee with D yesterday, he met some of my friends. It was all very exciting.

What I wore on the second date - I was also wearing knee high socks and lace up shoes. He also gave me his jumper at the end of the night, when he dropped me off in the Rocks. So I basically looked like an overgrown school child on the way home.

What I wore to go op-shopping on Saturday - The second shot shows the back of the top. But the first shot and the third basically show what a difference some simple accessories can make. See, my retarded pose is the same, but the necklace and belt make it a little less retarded...

What I actually wore to my fake date on Tuesday.

What I was going to wear to my fake date on Tuesday - as you can see, I was going for a kind of French theme.

Finally, my newest, scariest addiction...eBay!! It's terrible! I'm forever checking auction times, new clothes, etc etc. I can't see the money moving anywhere so I feel no guilt about spending on there. I disregard postage so it feels like I'm grabbing a bargain. And I love outbidding people, it's like a weird satisfying feeling.

I'm addicted!

If I was a simple man, would we still walk hand in hand?

2010-09-17T07:04:00.000+10:00

This is quite a long post, so I'll kick off with something light. Isn't this the most adorable photo of Elijah Woods and McCauley Caulkin? It's strange to see photos like this, especially with everyone knowing where they both are now and what they look like. I feel like everyone knew a kid like McCauley Caulkin when they were younger. The crazy, wouldn't/couldn't sit still, ants in his pants terror who would have been slapped with the ADHD lable young and been kept away from red cordial at all costs. Such a carefree photo.

So I found this ad the other day on weheartit. Effective advertising is one of my favourite topics, and this ad is pretty good. What I think all women should remember though is that we never owe men for not raping other women. They shouldn't be given any praise for not doing it. Obviously it shouldn't happen, but by praising men who just don't do it, means we are making too light a concept of it, but saying "It's so good that you didn't do that, good on you!". It is a given that it shouldn't happen. That said, "shouldn't" is such a utopian, idealistic word. I'm not completely sure I clearly conveyed what I wanted to, effectively enough. I might come back to it later.

We went to Home last night, a club in Darling Harbour. It was constructed quite interestingly. There were gorgeous views from the balcony and the inside dance floor.

I recently got my hair cut, I got the hairdresser to bulk it up a little, so she took off all the really thin ends and put some more layers around my face. I think maybe next time I will be brave enough to get it chopped even shorter.

This is what I wore last night. I rarely ever think to take outfit photos before a night out. Photos always turn up eventually. I ended up taking the tights off though and wearing these cute little "I love billy" shoesies my friend Tori lent me. They had the tiniest heel and were super comfy.

Also, I may have asked someone on a date last night! Nah, who am I kidding, I didn't "may" I actually did. Which is pretty exciting. Yes this is the same boy I had lunch with the other day. I'm realising it's acutally becoming real, I told my two girlfriends from home the other day about him, and everyone here already knows about him. It's scary, but so, so exciting. And in a month, or a year or more, it could all turn to shit (touch wood! eeep!) but I'm not going to worry about that. It's nice getting to learn someone. I say this because of the line in the song "St Patrick's Day" by John Mayer -

In the dark, on the phone

You tell me the names of your brothers

And your favorite colors

I'm learning you

And when it snows again

We'll take a walk outside

And search the sky

Like children do

We should take a ride tonight around the town and look around at all the beautiful houses

something in the way that blue lights on a black night can make you feel more

everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be

Just like you and me

It just feels like it's true, having to learn someone.

This is a plain weave print dress I bought the other day. The pattern is nice but it's a bit too big around the neck. I actually just don't have the chest to fill it out. I've never found having smaller boobs a problem though. God, I just wrote boobs. Such a strange word.

Strange little digression now... so lately I've been just randomly exposed to pornstars. I don't watch it/ use it, but I know some of my male friends must. I have watched almost every clip from Vive Cool City, (no NOT a porn site hahaha) (do check it out though, it's truly amazing) an online tv site which provides original short episodes on topics focusing on content that can't really be found elsewhere and that is thought-provoking. They do interviews with Nikki Jayne, Jenna Haze, Jesse Jane etc (I just know my page count will increase knowing those names are merely on here). It's interesting to see these interactions, although Jesse Jane is quite possibly the most irritating female I've never met. Such an attention seeking little princess. But she was quite the business woman as well.

Any how a topic raised by these girls and also in a recent episode of Entourage (yeah, okay, so it was the finale of the seventh season. Yes the one where Eminem appears.), was that of many men in relationships being unable to deal with the fact that this is the profession their women have chosen. Even saying "their" I am hesistant, because it implies some level of ownership. It is this unspoken sense of ownership that all people get, not just pornstars, that raises a litany of questions. We don't own each other, slavery went out a long time ago (not saying it doesn't still exist) but it is an issue.

I know many girls who don't like the idea of open relationships because they feel as though they are coming off second best if they do not have the official title of "his girlfriend". I will try and justify some of what I am trying to say. I think girls (totally generalising, I know!) want to know that they are the only ones that that particular guy wants. They suggest the idea of an open relationship to seem cool and free, but then the guy takes this as an invitation to do whatever he likes and then the girl gets upset.

The girl usually always wants commitment. But is the idea of monogamy natural? I'm not completely convinced. The idea of only one true love isn't. I believe true love exists, but imagine if someone who had just found their "one" lost them in tragic uncontrollable circumstances? It's not fair to say they don't have anyone else out there for them ever again. I am re-reading this and I sound a bit childish. I talk too much!

A letter my friend Holly wrote me last night/ this morning. I love the fact I can basically hear her saying it in her own voice.

Some "scribblings" of my friend Sam. She's so talented!

I love all different sorts of blogs. This is just one of them. Flowing Data is "visualization and statistics site" of Nathan Yau. He has some really cool finds he blogs about and there are some really interesting flow charts and Venn diagrams. When his blog posts are things like "Another view of Inception, with the kicks this time", "Periodic Table of Swearing" and "First Date vs. Reality TV First Date", you CANNOT go wrong. Such a cool site.

This is a gorgeous Australian ad, about Daylesford, Victoria. The "Lead a Double Life" theme is a delicious concept and the song is amazing too. My friend Maddy who comes from Melbourne watched it with me the other day and she told me the scene with the waterpump in it is on her friend's property.

Until next time!

Naiveté, optimism, blind faith. Call it what you want.

I have a good feeling about this.

call it whatever you want

2010-09-14T15:31:00.000+10:00

While a large proportion of Australians might bitch and moan about being given a choice about voting for two different kinds of evil, when I read things like what is currently going on in Afghanistan and their campaign elections, I realise how lucky we are comparatively. And just in general.

Every parliamentary candidate is basically in fear of their lives. The Taliban doesn't just threaten to fuck up the elections, it actually does. Through the generation of fear, democracy is a sweetly utterance in a far-off utopia for the time being.

Candidates, campaign workers and their families are feeling the weight of the deaths of recent Taliban victims and the civilians will only go out to vote, if they feel like they won't be the next in the line of fire, which basically rules out anyone who isn't willing to sacrifice their life in order to obtain their say in THEIR election. The BBC reports that people are "indignant" when asked about whether they will participate, because of Taliban mutilations and murders that are bound to happen if people vote.

Female candidates have been the particular target in this election. I find this image particularly disturbing. It was basically this image which prompted me to write this.

Many people have pointed out to me, the way in which I focus on issues through a feminist perspective. I make no apologies for this, it's like once the certain way to critically look at things was introduced to me, I've been doing it ever since. If I see a health and exercise magazine, where a man is standing with a woman wrapped around him from behind, partially obscured, I will ask why.

It's time for things to get better, It's time for things to move on

2010-09-13T22:49:00.000+10:00

You don't need to read deep into the title of this blog post, I just really like the song "Jackson's Last Stand" by Ou Est Le Swimming Pool.

My new favourite thing happens to be tea! It's such a lovely thing. The aroma, the taste, the dollop of honey I usually put in doesn't hurt either... My friend Holly came into my room the other night, and as usual caught me watching "The Sopranos" when I was supposed to be doing work. So she gave me Peppermint and English Toffee tea and some Pocket Penguins "9th & 13th" by Jonathan Coe and "The Mirror of Ink" by Jorge Luis Borges. She's so ridiculously cool, I adore her to death.

I feel like I'm obsessing too much again about a boy. It's as though I'm thinking constantly about it and I don't know whether it's even warranted. Every time I manage to get back into the "I'm single again" frame of mind, something comes up and I completely forget what it's like to be unattached again.

I think I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow. It won't be anything overly exciting but it's time to rid my hair of these split end fiends.

I love tea.

Lazy Post

2010-09-11T22:23:00.000+10:00

Impulsive Shopping: The Serial Killer's Random Prey

I don't usually buy things off a whim (who am I kidding? I do it all the time) but this galaxy print Kenji dress was just too hard to say no to.

My recent addiction to The Sopranos is a further step in my obsession with the mafia and the underworld. I love the world that's portrayed in this series - a completely different existence.

This is my favourite photo from Ball. Despite the fact it's so annoyingly blurry, I still love it.

New! But Old But NEW!

2010-09-10T17:36:00.001+10:00

Hahaha got your attention now don't I?

I have come up with a new recurring segment I'll try to maintain. I don't have a catchy name or nothin'.

But I update my "Listenings" box to the right once every blue moon, but the songs I choose are always on high rotation at the time of writing, but they disappear into infinity every time I replace them.

So here are this week's seven:

Barbra Streisand - Duck Sauce

Sometimes (I Wish) - City and Colour

Rootless Tree - Damien Rice

June Evenings - Air France

Have A Little Faith In Me - Joe Cocker

Glass - Ingrid Michaelson

I Am Going But I Am Not Gone - Jen Cloher & The Endless Sea

I could explain the significance of them, but I won't bog you down with the mediocre details of how I happened across each gem, just enjoy them!

go on and save your scissors

2010-09-09T10:32:00.000+10:00

Hey ho kidlets!

So time to jump back into the real world, where actual things happen, instead of the imagined or fantasised!

First up, I heard Kings of Leon's new single this morning on triple j, Radioactive sounds amazing, you can watch the video for it here

Their new album, "Come Around Sundown" will be out mid October.

Avatar: The Last Airbender. This looks so unbelievably good I might just cry.

I remember when James Cameron's Avatar came out and I was so disappointed because it was about blue centaurs (don't kill me Avatar fans, I have seen the movie, just didn't really like it. It was pretty much Pocahontas with blue aliens instead of Native American Indians) and not the crazy Nickelodeon cartoon that a select group of people of all different ages had become obsessed with. The ultimate tale of good versus evil, with a lovable, bald boy savior where a totally different world was created.

Collective shout is an online community devoted to the goal of "freeing the world from sexploitation". It was suggested to me by a friend who recently became interested in feminism, after reading "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf.

By joining, you can open your eyes to a whole plethora of issues you might not even know existed. Collective Shout helps me to re-evaluate everyday things in a critical manner. This is a re-posting of an article by Melinda Tankard Reist, a writer who has a whole bunch of other equally great if not better articles, about cultural messages (or this case, mis-message) regarding advertising by underwear brand, Lovable.

The next few links are basically inspiration sites, constantly reminding me that there is no end to new ideas.

http://abduzeedo.com/daily-inspiration-188

http://ffffound.com/

http://weheartit.com/

http://joshspear.com/

Here are some nice alternatives to The Sartorialist, even if they don't always hit the mark

http://mrnewton.net/

http://www.manrepeller.com/

The girl who writes Man Repeller is goddamn flipping funny. Basically, any fashionable clothe

s (demi-couture and the like) only do one thing. Repel men and make us look ugly. I just re-read that previous line and realised how stupid it sounded. We're not here to please men. I guess what I meant is, how ugly some of the things we wear actually are.

I hate not saving a page as a favourite when you're on it and not being able to find it later. Frustrating.

My super musician friend Holly recently gave me the best picks of her iTunes library. Which included a eff-load of this jazz musician Art Pepper. I'd suggest start with "Shaw Nuff" and "You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To". Cool stuff.

My very first ebay purchase was this...

I know, gross right? It was for college though. And now I've learnt how to use eBay, I'm very scared for the safety of my savings. Very scared. Like one of my friends said "You can make it Christmas, like every day if you buy enough stuff".

I'll leave you with one last little tidbit, how to make it onto "The Satorialist". No Gisele Bundchen legs or Anna Wintour status necessary. Follow the steps and we'll be seeing you on there very soon!

I'm sorry it turned out so small!! Click on it to see it better!

i wanted to see something thats different

2010-09-04T01:06:00.000+10:00

I only remain awake due to the fact that I am unwilling to let this day end.

So it's been a while again, but today I think I went on a date. I say I think, because I have been pretty pessimistic about this whole thing. Not that I'm not hopeful that it will turn into amazing, but I have such a weird complex about nice guys. And I think I've found one.

I've known D (please excuse the lame letters substituted for names, it's not like I'm famous or anything, or there's anything that juicy to even divulge) for about a year. We have class together and we had coffee a few times last year, but a drunken texting accident may have occurred somewhere along the line and things got weird for a while.

But I realised I was ready for something like D to happen. He is a good person. He reminds me of the guy I was in love with for pretty much the entirety of my high school years.

Jesus, I'm digressing already. So in short, I bought him "A Confederacy of Dunces" for his birthday, which he already had but he wanted to thank me anyway so he organised lunch OUTSIDE of college/uni which is a big deal, for me at any rate, because it makes it so much more real.

Anyway, we had yum cha, walked around Darling Harbour, watched the water from a wharf, talked non-stop until it turned quite dark and then he walked me back to catch a bus. We spent a good five hours or so together, so I think it was a date. But I don't know whether he saw it like that. And that's where my doubtful self comes in. I want to doubt every part of this tentative relationship away because I'm scared.

Scared that he might actually like me back, that he won't, that I invest way too much into relationships, that I don't value proper ones, that I am no longer single (?).

It's really exciting, getting into something again, it's been a while.

This was my friend Sam's 21st. She's the one in the middle and she is simply stunning. Inside and out.

I apologise from the depths of my heart for the quality and the WAY these photos simply are. I KNOW I'm not twelve and that 'mirror photos' are the utmost height of tacky but it's hard when you have a lopsided, therefore non-working tripod.

This rainbow scarf picture was taken a while ago, my hair is so long now. It needs a good chop.

And this is my room. Don't you just ADORE it? Yeah I do too hahahaha.

And now I need to go to bed. For realz. (Ewwwww a "z'd-eddised" word)

Are you suggesting something?

2010-08-30T11:30:00.000+10:00

My two new favourite people. For anyone who has not yet had the pleasure, let me introduce you to Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan.

The first time I ever heard a Damien Rice song was in the movie, "The Girl in the Cafe" in which they used "Cold Water". I then came to hear more tracks in the movie "Closer". And ever since hearing the opening chords of Cold Water, I have been enraptured with the workings of Rice and what inspires and pushes him to write these kinds of tales of love and loss.

Quite recently, a friend suggested that I finish downloading "O" and that I also try "9", his other album. She told me that Rice had obviously been fucking torn in half when creating "9", the passion was evident upon my first listen. There are so many moments on 9, that left me wondering what the hell he had experienced to convey such harsh pain but also made me realise how healing I now found 'O' to be.

Ignore this exuberant suggestion if I am just preaching to the converted, but for those of you who haven't experienced any Damien Rice, I say just go for it. There are no disappointing moments anywhere. Every part cuts as beautifully as the last.

heart skipped a beat

2010-08-20T07:05:00.001+10:00

So instead of waxing lyrical about how I never get around to writing anymore, I'm just going to write.

So the issue of whether or not people let others know about their blogs. Blogging, in my personal experience, has not always had the best reputation. And now with the resurgence of interest in the form of people creating tumblr accounts (which I abhor and I am yet to see a good one) the rep worsens I think. With Tumblr accounts, from what I can tell, you are just reposting pictures and words of other people. I think I've across one too many maintained by angsty sixteen year olds still going through that torturous phase where boys meant the world and that all consuming love is all they know (God knows I probably went through it at one stage, but by no means did I have a tumblr account to express myself with).

Anyway (and of course I've digressed as usual) I've literally only told one person I'm friends with about this. Another one of my friends knows that I do this but hasn't actually read it. I like having this bit of private space on the internet (which totally doesn't make sense because pretty much anyone can just find this) where I can pour things out, put things on display and rant about anything.

Our masquerade ball is on tonight! I can't wait to wear my dress. And mask, I guess hahahahaha. I'm so, so, so, so excited! And I guess that ties it all up in a way, this blog isn't necessarily a mask, but the beautiful anonymity of the internet serves as a perfect one!

Look there here goes, isn't he dreamy?

2010-08-03T11:23:00.000+10:00

I sit here listening to the screeching of Kings of Leon ('Trani') and I finally realise that I am finished with bad boys. The search is on for the good one.

I have someone in mind, but we'll see how that goes...

Now I'm watching a bunch of Disney movies where everything ends with "happily ever after" and I think back to that bit in the Sex & the City movie where Sarah Jessica Parker shakes her head and laments "Another one bites the dust"

I used to watch things like Bridget Jones Diary and think that was so impossible. Being relatively young, makes you oblivious. But with all the modern talk about biological clocks and whatnot, it's worrying.

paper aeroplane

2010-07-30T00:34:00.000+10:00

This my excavation and today is Kumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization

It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

Your love will be

Safe with me

My friend Tori once said, "Constantly about boys makes you stupid". This is funny because it pretty much means I am sometimes totally loopy, over-hill-and-far-away retarded.

Sometimes when I get used to the idea of being completely free, I almost feel a bit empty. This is not because women need men to complete them (or other women for that matter) but because being able to find someone you like, love or obsess over is pretty special.

Tonight felt like one of those nights which was going to be average but about a million things happened which made it special, even if it's only fleeting.

I avoided the past, felt really happy that other people I had in the past (this makes me sound conceited I realise but that's okay. It's not like I'm some mad ho who gets all the guys. Not that there's anything wrong with that kind of lifestyle) were or had already moved on, and found out someone I didn't think I would have a chance with was interested. One of my friends ended up hurting her foot, so five of us girls found a trolley and pushed her home. Screaming, laughing and talking like Kath & Kim the entire time. It was so fun and it made me realise how much these girls mean to me.

At the moment, I feel like I just want to fall asleep to the song "Mango Tree" by Angus & Julia Stone. Even if this moment doesn't last forever, because I bet as sure as sheep, something will happen tomorrow that will change it, I just want to savour it.

I'm not going to add anymore pictures to this post because I just want the words to settle around me and not cheapen them with flickr images. Nor am I going to write any hopes down. Just let it happen.

2010-07-28T11:03:00.001+10:00

I don't know whether I like the person I'm becoming.

it's like the night is taking sides

2010-07-26T12:04:00.000+10:00

The view from my new room

Yeah, no

2010-07-16T19:54:00.001+10:00

Sorry for being such a lazy shit head lately, I'm about to return to uni once again this weekend.

I am being lazy because I know those first sentences appear in the blog feed. I'm barely bothering to write with capitals.

The first two pictures are my ball dress and mask, the theme is Carnivale Masquerade (original hey) and the next two are the pictures I first found. I might still change the mask around a bit before ball. The picture of the purple dress is actually the back view.

And just something I drew, the image isn't original.

Where is my acerbic wit and usually winning dialogue? Hopefully it'll be back soon enough

hey bebe

2010-06-29T14:31:00.000+10:00

Kid in a penguin suit. Just because.

I finally have a printer which works, so if I'm not being too lazy, expect some more scanned art!!

But like I said, it's all dependent on aforementioned laziness levels.

I bought the most glorious pair of boots the other day. They would have been the boots the girl Che Guevara would have taken on his motorcycle and zoomed across the South America with, would have worn. They're difficult to get into but so goddamned worth it when they're on.

And I found a pretty little beige, skinny belt in an opshop today. It's got a gold little clasp and I'll have to take a picture.

This is the book I'm reading at the moment, "The Slap" by Christos Tsiolkas. It's a whole bunch of back ground stories of the guests present at a barbecue where a small child is slapped. You see the story from every point of view and Tsiolkas is a great story teller. It's interesting, seeing the conflicting perspectives. My sister recommended it to me, so I was a bit hesitant to start it, seeing as the thickest book she's ever read is probably the fourth Harry Potter.

As you've all probably heard, Julia Gillard is now Australia's prime minister. This bit of news might seem rather innocuous to some readers who don't live in Australia but she's actually the first female prime minister Australia's ever had (despite not being voted in by the general public). The elections are only a few months off (they might actually be called very soon though) which is why Gillard's ousting of Rudd seems like a bit of a two-faced move (I think Rudd has now being backbenched) but the opinion polls do show that she is the preferred prime minister, in comparison to Tony Abbott. So she did it to effectively 'save' the Labor Party. Her rise to this position has once again (in a positive and I'm-all-for-it-kind-of-way) stirred up discussion regarding feminism, the glass ceiling and inspired all sorts of 24 hour articles over discussions about motherhood, marriage and success in the workplace.

All the politics aside (but not really, because that's what this whole paragraph is mainly about), I admire Julia Gillard. One particular part member once said to her (and I'm paraphrasing here) "What would you even know about the issue, you aren't even married and you don't even have kids!?"

It's annoying to see that the first related search on GoogleImage search is "julia gillard ugly". While Gillard is aware of the public image, she has felt no need to have a family because she is "supposed to" or even take on a religion because politicians "should be setting an example". She is not the first Australian Prime Minister because the time had come for one, it was because she was the person deemed best for the job at the time. We're not just putting women in prime positions to say we are. But the Prime Minister, Premier and Governor-General are all women for the first time in history.

It's nice to have these kinds of examples. I'm actually really proud. It's positive and inspiring.

This week, the Chinese artist Wu Guanzhong passed away.He was quite a prolific artist for his time and his works are just beautiful. He donated a bunch of them to Hong Kong.

My friends all bought me this beautiful Diana F+ camera for my birthday. I can't wait to start taking pictures on it!

Beautiful People: An Investigation (and most probably a foray into a deep, hidden vanity imbedded within me...)

2010-06-28T11:45:00.000+10:00

So the other day I was in a doctor's waiting room flicking through the dog-eared pile of magazines lumped on a corner table, next to the dark blue sink-when-you-sit-down cushioned benches. I think it was a Cosmopolitan I picked up, I can't even remember who was on the cover. But between the pages of ads for beauty products that don't work and reality television interviews, an 'expose' on dating/social networking site 'with a difference' caught my eye.

Beautifulpeople.com is basically just another site, where people can be superficial and it seems perfectly fine. It's no different to those emo sites where little (and not so little) emo kids rate each other's looks. It holds no pretences about what it is. Although I'm not too sure how it really works though, because even though I wanted to 'investigate' the site, I wasn't willing to pay a subscription fee so I mainly got the demo version, which I can't imagine differs too greatly from the genuine thing.

You upload a bunch of photos and people ranked with scores between 0.00 and 10 rank your photo back. "Hotness" is evaluated through a 5-star system. You send the usual stupid things like winks, blinks, kisses and hugs.

That tidy little 3.76 you see in the green above my photo is my "beauty score". To keep the experiment an experiment, I monitored my 'success' over a 48 hour period of time. By the end though, even though I hadn't pushed the rating over the required 5 stars, I hadn't been kicked off the site or anything so exclusivity is a bit of a joke which is supposed to encourage you to keep using the site and maybe subscribe.

You can only rate members of the opposite sex and because they don't offer anything in terms of displaying your sexuality, I can only assume the people who are genuinely there to use the site are heterosexual.

The experience was silly to begin with but I can see why people who crave this type of attention for self-validation find it riveting. Your beauty score goes up and down, according to people who rank you. The highest I got was 4.41 and it only plummeted from there. But I don't really need random people telling me I'm beautiful or not. That said, I was checking the score like a mad man once I worked out how it operated. But once you realise what you're doing, it's a little embarrassing. Using this site only reinforced the stupidity of such a concept. But there are the funny profiles which use fake pictures. And I'm happy to say, I gave more than one cat lady and fat kid eating cake a 5-star rating to help fuck things up a bit. But it saddened me to know that there was a filtering system where you could let ONLY people with an above 5-star rating to 'check out your profile'.

I mean, really? Really??

Tell me I look stunning and cadaverous

2010-06-17T14:03:00.000+10:00

It is that mad passage of time again. When the dreaded exams come to visit. Everyone locks themselves away and doesn't emerge, except to eat or go the bathroom. I think I've spent about 120 hours in the library this week. But at least I am not spending money like a mad man going out.

When I become addicted to a song, it's usually either a really slow, growing-on-me process or it's a snap decision, where I will listen to the 23 times non stop in a row.

Two songs I've recently discovered on my computer, "Twilight" by Elliott Smith and "Generator^Second Floor" by Freelance Whales. And my addiction to them both, works in that order.

In an attempt to delay study for a few more minutes, here are some interesting pictures I found off weheartit.

These Crayola sculpture are by artist Diem Cheu. It reminds me of when I was younger and my uncle hired a new chef for his restaurant. This guy had come straight from a few years in a five-star hotel and he used to do the same kinds of sculptures with carrots. He did phoenixes, landscapes and patterns. They were so beautiful.

Such a delicate, gorgeous tattoo. I'd have to find something like this before I ever got one I think. I'm ever so slightly put off by the pain factor? I have a pretty low threshold.

This was my friend Anna's 'Around the World' 21st. It was so much fun! I love Katie's Mexican costume.

This was a photo my friend's boyfriend took of us. It did have a fresher girl in the middle of it, but I sneakily photo-shopped her out. It was taken at the end of summer. I wish it was summer again already.

shot a rabbit from the backseat window

2010-06-08T22:56:00.000+10:00

I just had such a vivid memory of when I was about 12 or 13. I was reading the final Harry Potter book that had been released at the time, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

It was the scene where the Tri-Wizard contestants were pulling their respective dragons out of the bag. At the time, I had a small blue dragon figurine, not unlike the one below. I'm not sure why or how I remember this. I just remember, not wanting the book to end. The beauty of imagination at that particular age is truly amazing. I miss it. I don't think I'm anywhere near as imaginative as I was back then. Nothing in the world compared to those first four books and the magic they held for me, which even lasts till this very day.

I never felt so wicked as when I willed our love to die

2010-06-01T00:08:00.002+10:00

I have been so busy with the college year book. Which is totally a lie considering tonight, which was the launch, was probably the only real hectic thing about the whole process. I have a great co-director who is so super helpful and super organised, thank you Maddy!

This is the cover of the half yearly publication our college publishes.

I found the entire Stars back catalog floating around and have been listening to "In Our Bedroom After The War" practically non stop. They both have equally gorgeous voices. The play count of "Personal" off this record, is at 27 and counting. Go to songmeanings and read the lyrics. It's heartbreaking.

Also, I somehow found time and went op shopping on the weekend. It was super fun! Especially since it was a bunch of us girls.

I finally found that big sequined jumper I'd been searching for. Bat-winged, sequined and appliquéd with flowers. And soooo warm!

The second thing I bought was a costume piece basically. My friend is having her 21st this weekend and the theme is "Around The World". She put a different country on the back of each invite and I got Morroco! I think the theme is such a brilliant idea. Her laziest friend got Australia because she knows he won't dress up, our guy friends all got countries that end in '-Stan' which is hilarious. The dress I bought is kind of generic enough to fit a couple of countries but I'm adding a headscarf, some gold jewellery and gold flats. It will be sooo much fun! But not really looking forward to exams soon. That will suck

Unibar party is on Thursday and the theme is "I Heart 90's". Cliche, yet do-able. Lame, yet sooo much fun. I still need to find a costume.

I was sitting behind two girls in a review session lecture today and due to a mixture of boredom and curiosity I happened to spy what they were doing. Making a list of desirable qualities in eligible life partners. It was so fucking ridiculous.

"No.37 : Must be able to wear skinny jeans

No.38: Should have common sense

No. 39: Should be less emotional than (girls) us"

If girls value a guy's ability to manipulate themselves into tight clothing over POSSIBLY having common sense, I fear for future generations. PRIORITIES LADIES!!!!!!!

And I'm going to mend my nocturnal ways by going to bed. Now. or now.....Nah I'm going to go to bed now. Just kidding, but seriously.

floral patterned stockings

2010-05-27T17:02:00.000+10:00

Such a phenomenal amount of time has passed since my last post. I can't even remember the things that have happened or the actual time that has gone by. The days all seem to blur into one. With the occasional backing track of a Stars album in the background.

The only instances in which time seems remotely relative, is the one year anniversaries.

It's funny that all the costumes I'll don this year I won't really be able to wear again.

But here we go, some pictures from our 'tight and bright'. I love fiddling with photos and the obnoxious colouring already present in these shots make it so easy.

i used to feel that way. key words being "used to"

2010-04-18T07:20:00.000+10:00

It's okay if you find the next few bits of this entry a little cryptic. Something that I wanted to happen all of last year, finally happened last night. Unexpectedly and unfortunately, a little too late. These pictures are the way I wanted to portray this experience visually. Although if I was to do it justice, there would be a million more images, clips from films, music, my friends and everything else that helps to paint a long-winded goodbye.

I'm sorry it didn't work.

where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?

2010-04-10T19:37:00.000+10:00

Fairy lights have this beautiful ability to make almost any space magical. The lighting they create is so warm and gentle. So gorgeous. A lot of people in my life are like fairy lights. Groan-inducing metaphor I know. But it's true.

I will hold on,

On.

there you were black silver dressed in gold

like every story ever told

a million words in so few sentences

when you spoke to me it rang out like a song

that dared all ears to hear it wrong

And as the sun died

I promised that I'd seek you out

Well now the years have weathered me

And soon I'll claim you for my arms again

the love is enormous

its lifting me up

I'd rather be sleeping

I'd rather fall in to tidal waves

and go where the deepest currents go

to leave you with those days is never something i could do

there'll always be a part of me that needs to be with you

that's just what's true

And if our hearts all disappear

And if our bones, they crumble to the soil

And all our love will rise again

And we'll float to the sea

All images from weheartit.com

Sketchy McSketch sket chhh chhh chh

2010-04-10T19:22:00.000+10:00

I used to love copying different bits out of magazines. Magazines like Vogue, Frankie, Harper's Bazaar, Dolly all provided endless wells of material for re-creation. As I grew older, I almost stopped drawing from things that just came out of nowhere. I just couldn't conjure up a face or an image to put down on the page. Everything came from something else. Almost all art is plagiarism but mine wasn't even plagiarism, it was always directly borrowed. I was never ashamed of it and I always credited things; I figured if I did the original justice, everyone would recognize where I had 'borrowed' my inspiration anyway. I miss the mini-sketches and doodling though, I do want to get back to drawing just for pleasure. I currently have a beautiful, black bound art diary sitting in my room at college which my friend Sam got me from the COFA store but I still haven't been able to bring myself to touch it quite yet. Title pages always mean something to me and I guess I don't want to fuck up the very first page.

Now all I have are these memories I can't trust

2010-04-05T10:03:00.000+10:00

Hello there!

Two and a half weeks has almost elapsed since, well you know, my last post but here we go. But I'm going to excuse myself. I have been quite the worker bee, busy as ever.

Well not really, but how are you ever going to know?

In an attempt to shop for winter clothing, because Australia is once again dipping it's toes into the icy throes of yet another winter, I went out in search of a Rodarte-inspired jumper, when I instead came upon a similar find, right here. I now own this cobweb jumper and it is so adorable. Zero warmth but who said I had to be practical? I also bought a peach coloured batwing cardigan. Bats and cobwebs?? I'm sensing some sort of theme here. Sorry for these generico pictures, I left both of my cameras at uni.

Those boots up the top are Stephan Kelian boots my friend Liz gave me. Her grandmother went to France and brought them back but they didn't fit anyone in her family. So the lucky shoes were passed onto me. I love them!!!

I love Kate Moss. Aside from the few silly things that sometimes happen to fall out of her mouth, she looks amazing. Here's a real aside for you. The pornography film industry in Australia is covered by the same guidelines as any other film industry, complete with regulations and standards. But recently, women with A cup or smaller breasts were banned from being featured in such films because apparently, it encourages pedophilia and the sexualisation of young children. What scares me is the person who came up with such a notion. Who said that a real woman can't or don't have small breasts? There are some women out there who will never go beyond an A or B cup in their entire lifetime, even with childbirth etc. It's unfair to say only real women have breasts. It seems to be just another backward constraint on the portrayal of women, both as an image and actual people. It's not even being protective of younger children either.

Pretty, pretty cobweb stockings.

Our most recent uni party, TOGA!! We all went as devils. Our social directors somehow managed to get all the girls in red and all the boys in black and paint themselves red.

This is quite possibly the blurriest photo of Angus Stone ever taken by a creepy fan aka me. This was at the Angus & Julia gig at the Metro.

Here's a recent photoshoot I did on my SLR. They were going to be a submission for the cover of the university magazine, but they decided they wanted something a little less literal than shots of students. It was still so much fun. It took about fifty or so shots for me to pick out these three though.

I just love how happy everyone looks.

My favourite song at the moment is Example's "Watch The Sun Come Up". It is the best one night stand song I've heard in a while.

Today has been okay

2010-03-25T10:44:00.000+11:00

There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave

You were what I wanted I gave what I gave

I'm not sorry I met you

I'm not sorry it's over

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

So much to tell! Well instead of catching up on some much needed ZZZZ's, I am here updating my oft neglected little blog. The lyrics are from Stars "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead". I'm feeling a great deal better, regarding the whole heartbreak thing. I'm cringing as I type which must mean that either I know I am embarrassing myself going on about it or that it's actually getting better! Which I am very happy about.

I originally intended to find an image which represented an emacipation of the heart, but emancipation of the woman is just as good and even better.

I recently received this Sunshine Award from the lovely Weesha, whose never ending fountain of inspirational posts always brightens up my day!

Because of my typically lazy panda bear nature, I will tag people later.

So recently I became inspired to start a Sartorialist-type page based on my uni, the idea basically means taking picture's of people's outfits around campus. I got in touch with the editor of our university's magazine about photo clearance laws and the such and it's getting started very soon. It will be another blogspot blog and as soon as I post I will leave the link here.

The editor was very happy to help and offered me the cover of the next magazine, based on the Bluestockings of 18th century England, who worked for women's rights in terms of education. I have no idea what to take pictures of and it's due by Monday. Eeeep.

A recent housewarming we all attended. The idea was to only wear one piece of clothing. We got lazy and decided to wear towels instead. Who said college girls aren't classy?

A Letter Composed in Rage

2010-03-17T11:11:00.000+11:00

(May you be slightly coherent for readership purposes)

To the two computer/ printer retail twats who are currently employed by Harvey Norman, located in the SupaCenta opposite Moore Park:

You are two of THE most incompetent fucks I've ever had the misfortune to come across in my short lifetime.

First of all, the printer I originally bought, shouldn't have been on sale at all, seeing as it is incompatible with about 75% of computers people own because it is about a decade old, which is probably about how old your latest tafe degree in flogging lowly computer wares is.

Second of all, if the greasy slimeball (greasy ponytail included) wasn't enough, I was then sent into see the king of all fuckwits, Glen Fucking Whichello. Not only did you not look at me throughout the entire time you were lying to me, you also did not speak directly to me once. I don't think anyone appreciates being TALKED AT which is what you did. You sat there with your sad little polyester tie and smirk, and a sad amount of hair product residing in what little hair you have, trying to ignore the fact that you just a lowly little retail assistant who was lucky enough to score a desk in the enquiries area.

But for you to accuse me of "denigrating" the value of the printer, the value of which expired long ago, is just ridiculous.

But why be so childish, as to order the wrong printer for me when I insisted on buying an operating printer?? And charging me about twice more for something I'd already paid for?

Remind me why it is again that people like you are allowed to exist?? Oh that's right, to remind the rest of the world what happens when inferior breeding occurs and mistakes are afforded the benefit of the doubt and are allowed to continue to live.

I feel sorry for you, because while I may not end up leading the most exciting life ever, I at least am aware of what will happen, as opposed to you, trying so hard to ignore the fact that you will be stuck where you are until the next young imbecile prances along and takes your job at the SupaCenta. Also, congratulations for being employed somewhere, where the name of the entire complex isn't even spelt properly to create an air of modernity and forward thinking. Because just like you, it fails miserably.

Live out the rest of your existence in excruciating mediocrity please, I think that would probably be the most fitting punishment.

p.s. for other readers, if this comes across as particularly scathing, please know that I have argued with this dropkick in person , countless times over the phone and wasted so much time it's actually not even funny anymore, and to no avail. I still have no printer.

I'm in like with you, not in love with you, just yet

2010-03-02T08:23:00.000+11:00

Who would have thought, post 130 already!

Sometimes I miss the monotony of school.

But mostly not :)

if you fall hard, i fall harder

2010-02-20T20:41:00.000+11:00

I am in the process of packing for college once more. It is impossible trying to make everything fit. The end result of my efforts looks more like that creature in "Spirited Away". The thing that ate everything in it's path.

I can't stop listening to the Shout Out Loud's new track "Fall Hard". It's a jaunty little thing, laced with bittersweet lyrics.

I know that if you eat certain foods before you go to sleep, you're more prone to having dreams/ nightmares. But I wonder if the same theory applies to songs? I was listening to Florence and the Machine's "Hurricane Drunk" the other night and had the most vivid dream relating to the song.

I'm going out,
I'm gonna drink myself to death
And in the crowd
I see you with someone else,
I brace myself,
Cause I know it's going to hurt,

But I like to think at least things can't get any worse.

My new room is going to be adorned with so many pictures, including the one below "Girl with a Hair Ribbon" by Roy Lichtenstein. All I need to find now, is some fairylights.

I'd like to think I was past thinking about him. But this obviously shows that I'm not. I think it was that drunken Valentine's day call I got. I know I deserve better but then you're in it, you see it differently. You make excuses.

On a perfectly unrelated note, the return to college means new freshers!!!

so you ask for my opinion, well what is there to say?

2010-02-08T11:33:00.000+11:00

Tresemme Heat Protectant Spray - I wasn't really a fan of hair products before last year, I'll admit. But this entire is pretty useful, it does it says and the smell isn't overpowering or sickly.
Maybelline Quad Shadow - For the previously blending/ eye makeup incompetent such as myself, the good folks at Maybelline decided to create a bunch of eye shadows which are basically foolproof. It shows you which spot to put where.
Manicare Eyeshadow Brush - Arguably the best beauty tool I purchased last year. You should try not to use the little applicators that come with eyeshadows and blushes and buy proper brushes, it makes a real difference. If you're having trouble finding things to buy or how to use them, definitely hit up youtube.
Rimmel Colourlast Lipstick - It's a good lippie, not too drying or shiny. I'm yet to find the coral shade of my dreams though.
St Ives, Clay Firming Mask - Don't overuse masks or you may end up drying out your skin. This one's fun to use, the smell is only slightly offputting but otherwise perfect.
Clean and Clear Pimple Treatment - While I don't use the entire Clean and Clear range in my day to day routine, I've used this product ever since I learned how to moisturise and nothing beats it. In my opinion, it shits all over the Clearasil range.
Manicare Eyelash Curlers - Didn't actually believe in the whole eyelash curling shebang until I tried it for myself, what can I say? I'm a born sceptic. It can do what no mascara promises it can.
Anna Sui, Anna Sui Eau de Parfum - My sister gave to this to me for my birthday. At first I thought it was a little too strong, but it's definitely grown on me in a good way. I prefer a scent that lasts/ goes the distance.
Herbal Essences Shampoo/ Conditioner - I actually use the red one for long hair, but this leaves your hair smelling sooooo yummy and the packaging is cute
Maybelline Define -A-Lash Volume Mascara - very straight forward
Aveeno moisturiser - my friend Steph introduced me to this, it's very good because there's absolutely no smell, it's not too heavy and it's non-comedogenic.

hold me and love me, i just want to touch you for a minute

2010-02-04T12:59:00.000+11:00

It's be an empty world if I got everything pictured here and felt happy. Materialism is so last century anyway. But that's one sweet little blazer.

pee esses: also wondering if anyone out there knows how to fix, improve, embellish a blogger layout? I've had a look around and even done some DIY attempts on another blog but to no avail

I don't know where it's goin but I like it like it is

2010-02-02T11:59:00.000+11:00

Okay so no poster-rooni for a long time but I haven't forgotten about this endeavor just yet dear readers.

Summer school was a bore but by jimminy, I hope I've passed the final.

Now, lounging about at home I decided the time had come to once again, update update UPDATE!

I am chomping my way through a ton of Stephen King novels, but I really want to go to reading novels of the Palahaniuk ilk. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know! I just finished King's "Dolores Claiborne". He always manages to get into whatever head space of the characters he is trying to portray and gets these little tiny details that one would somehow overlook, even if they were writing from first person.

My mother spent the first three days of my return shopping with me and therefore paying for anything I wanted. I'm not, as the previous line would suggest, by any means spoilt (although I guess by some standards I am) but it's almost as though she is trying to make up for lost time or thinks that I don't actually do that much shopping while I'm back at uni. Which is mostly true, usually because there are better things to do most of the time.

I really want to find a decent black or beige colored high waisted skirt and a blazer (sans glitter, sequins, silk lapels).

It's quite funny, because the other day we were in Sussan's with my mum just suggesting random articles of clothing as usual. They do a good range of basics and nothing too tacky or overbearing. But my mum happened to remember something I'd said when I was young and naive and impressionable about how "I'm going to dress is Supre and Jay Jay's clothes forever. And I'm not going to wear Sussan's stuff even when I'm as old as you!" (Disclaimer: I was about 11 or 12 when this happened, so apart from today we will never speak of this incident again)

Facebook has it's ups and downs for sure but it's a good way to keep track of random people or things going on. And although I generally don't join "groups" or become fans of things, it's fun to see all the groups applicable to you. "No, I am definitely NOT going out.. Fuck it, I'll be ready in 20 minutes." You look at it and think "Ahhhhh! This group was made especially for me!" but then there are the creepier ones as well. "If you want to see nude pics of my ex-girlf click here I hate the slut's guts and want these to get around" or something like that.

But I recently found a page related to youth events happening in my town. The page is run by the younger siblings of a couple of kids who were my age, who happened to be movers and shakers, but these kids are seriously impressive. They have the musical, photographical, artistic and organisational skills to get things up and running, things that people actually go to. Events which promote positive messages, without the negative 'run the council to keep the deliquents occupied' vibe.

Now, a blast from the past. I know you all remember the Berenstain Bears??? Hahahahaha as if you didn't learn life lessons from these rednecked bear personas!

I have also been watching old 90210, which kicks the new one's (tauter and perkier, but who cares?) butt by sooooo much! And Shannon Dougherty is hottttt! So is Luke Perry (minus the thousands of wrinkles on that forehead)

I love this fancy dress twist!! I'm so suggesting this for the next college shindig.

I think we all already know how much I hate airbrushing. When it comes to faggy magazines like Maxim and Penthouse, I already detest the content. I stand sneakily in newagencies and turn all the covers around so it's shaving cream ads or designer watches facing the front and not airbrushed pieces of sterile meat. If porn in the form of magazines came in an unairbrushed form, I would have a slightly less MASSIVE problem with it. If the only exposure you've had to naked women is that shitty airbrushed rubbish where you are led to believe that women have a single line between their legs, no hair in sight, no dimpling not even goosepimples - we might as well be looking at Polaroids of what features between Barbie's legs, because hell, that's all we're getting at the moment.

And when these guys grow up a little and if they're lucky enough to land themselves with a girl or in a relationship, they'll tell their partners "You don't look normal down there" Which gets us nowhere. Girls set unrealistic expectations upon themselves and both parties find themselves highly unsatisfied with the pleasure they are supposedly enjoying even if they resemble the characters in those, quite frankly boring Jenna Jameson type productions. I don't really think the way she shoots off about how urgently she wants male genitalia in every open orifice in her body is that much of a turn on anyway, especially in her screechy voice.

I might rage lyrical about this more some other day, right now I'm frantically reading through the last two paragraphs and making sure I haven't written the word "pussy" or "cock" anywhere lest internet-porn-loving-fiends break their refresh buttons trying to access the content on this page hoping for a glimpse of anything. Because they sure as hell won't be able get off on anything here. You are a sick, sick individual if you do/ could.

Yours lovingly,

peaitlreiecnia

got gotti?

2010-01-22T15:16:00.000+11:00

I have discovered a whole type of people while I was floating about on Facebook this morning.

There is an entire stereotype who's existence, before this morning, I was completely unaware of. I present to you.....the Gotti boy

Now I'd seen pictures of this guys around but had no idea what the collective name for them was. These guys actually think they look good.

Then there are the sub-strains and a whole new vocabulary accompanying this phenomenon. (Take for example the word channing, a mixture of charred and tanning. Applicable to the Gotti boy who achieves his 'healthy' complexion from too much time spent on a sunbed, NOT playing volleyball on an actual beach whilst holidaying Monterey). Then there are the guidos (I'm unsure as to whether or this is a derogatory term as of yet, although I'm sure it is used in that sense), douchebags and gemos.

The whole popped collar thing is apparently a big deal. Steer clear, lads and ladies.

The mind boggles when you think about the world around us.

"so what do we do now?"

2010-01-14T23:02:00.000+11:00

Your life is not an episode of Skins. Too many kids in this wide, wide world think their lives are ideally messed up. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love the entire portrayal of these individually messed up British kids. But no matter how much you drink or continuously get off your face, life is too full of perfection or imperfections to be exact, to ever even remotely resemble this artwork of a series.

And Skins looks more beautiful to the outside, the person watching. The voyeur.

The quotes are just one facet of the excellence embodied in this series; Effy's burgeoning or fully flourishing sense of existentialism result in some deep thoughts delivered as roll off the tongue quips.

And who can forget Pandora interspersing every so often with her "Wizzer!"

every question you took the time to sit and look it up in the encyclopedia

2010-01-07T23:04:00.000+11:00

HAPPY NY EVERYBODY!!!

I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and New Years, no matter where you were or what you were doing.

Here are some of my favorite things at the moment:

Cute little outfit drawings. I wish I had the time to draw my outfits everyday. Especially if they looked half as cute as this.

Most people I know love Donnie Darko, even people who don't usually get even slightly disjointed films. S. Darko, the sequel, however was met with mixed reviews. I liked it. Each camera placement was like a editorial from an alternative street magazine. The boys in it aren't half bad either.

I'm over celebrity crushes I swear, but something about Jackson Rathborne just gets me. Everytime. I think they should make a film about Jeff Buckley with Rathborne playing the lead.

This band, Local Natives, are pretty awesome. Try their song "Airplanes", it got me almost as excited as when I first heard "Little Lion Man".

By the way, here is what I voted for in the triplej hottest 100 (and no i won't be self centred and explain my choices):

Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars
Bloody Beetroots, The - Warp 1.9
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home
Florence & The Machine - Dog Days Are
Over Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy
La Roux - In For The Kill
Passion Pit - Moth's Wings
Silversun Pickups - It's Nice To Know You Work Alone
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

Some things I'm not liking so much:

The Time Traveler's Wife, which came out late last year didn't really evoke anymore emotion in me than the book. To be honest I enjoyed the book so much more. It just didn't really do anything new. I mean it would have been perfectly fine for those who hadn't read it but no, waste of 2 or so hours for me.

The platforms that internet affords for closet (or even blatant) racists. The amount of shit floating around is completely ridonk. I think if you click the picture, it will enlarge it. It's not like that shit is hard to find anyway.

there is so much bad but also good in the world. Don't ignore the bad, just don't always ignore the good either.

I often see me floatin, but my shadow it weighs a ton

2009-12-27T10:11:00.000+11:00

Hello pretties! Finally a chance to sit down and write properly. Christmas this year, for me at least, was a bit strange. Mainly because I didn't ask for anything. I got presents and everything but even though I didn't ask for a ton of things I didn't really feel disappointed. I think I might be growing up. This sounds rather odd.

I won't lie. When I first started living in college, I had no idea how close we would all get. And especially how close the group of girls I'm 'with' would get. I want to say it's not clique-y because it's not and we aren't nasty or anything, but we are pretty tight. I mean, we have our own secret facebook page. I don't know whether I should have written that lol. But we unofficially decided to send each other cards. I think getting a card almost every day of the week is very exciting, which is what we did. There's nothing like receiving an envelope marked just for you, bearing written goodies and delights. It's cute too, each card is so like the person who sent it.

I got 'Inglourious Basterds' off my cousin and I watched it the other day with my sister. I really liked it, despite the fact that it's quite different to the things I usually choose to watch.

Question: I assume the word celebrities is derived from the word celebrate/ celebrated, so if we don't follow/ care about celebrities, what could potentially happen? Entire industries would collapse - a substantial portion of the fragrance world, the tabloid and magazines, shows like E-news and quite possibly Perez Hilton's blog (who would then subsequently be unable to afford his lascivious, greasy lifestyle and crawl away to die in a whole WITHOUT hair product in his hair or concealer pasted all over his face). Wow. What a loss.

Now I'm going to talk about a new film, called "The Runaways" which is a biopic on the teenage girl band of the 70's. It's got Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart in it. And as long as I don't wax lyrical about the personal lives of the two, I'm not being a hypocrite. It looks really good and I'm so excited it's actually coming out.

Hope everyone had a lover-ly Christmas

i don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing i need

2009-12-23T15:17:00.000+11:00

I will write again sooonish! But for now, I will post pictures instead.

My shopping haul!! Except the singlet I got was stripey not cream coloured. And I am proud to say it didn't feel like I was kicking my savings account. (It has taken a beating this year. If it were a child, I would be in jail for sure. I'm not really sure whether that was an appropriate metaphor.)

Christmas is almost here! So get cracking!

I'm gonna rain on your parade

2009-12-21T22:26:00.000+11:00

Let's play a game. A simple, simple game. It's called, "Spot The Difference".

Here are some clues

1. The first item, for those unaware of the services provided by such a device, is a Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser machine.

2. Both things pictured above basically enlist the help of paper to clean up shit. Supposedly anyway.

3. Both basically benefit the wealthy and already well to do. Let's face the facts, poor people do not need a toilet paper dispenser emblazoned with an iconic Japanese cat nor do they need a yearly convention orchestrated for the wealthy to go on another, unnecessary holiday where nothing is achieved.

ANSWER: The pink one actually does what it sets out to do and succeeds

i love you, even when i'm sleeping

2009-12-19T12:43:00.000+11:00

I usually have something to say about everything. But this just scares me. Kate Moss actually said that somewhere online.

it's all inside

2009-12-07T19:09:00.000+11:00

You're looking at this and you're already rolling your eyes, because it's one of those posts. Well, it kind of is.

It's been a long, funny week. My uncle passed away on Saturday. I still haven't cried and I think there must be something wrong. I think it's because I haven't been home yet.

I've spent pretty much the entire week with my friend. We've been to beach so many times I only have a white colored bikini of normal skin left now and to see New Moon, to coffee, dinner, we invited people over for a barbecue and sat on a balcony practically overlooking the city just talking into the night. I saw the guy I had been with during college for the first time in almost a month yesterday. It's easy to say the feelings are completely spent and nonexistent when someone isn't around but as soon as they're there again. Not that I'm saying I'll go there again. It takes too long to get over some people. It feels so sappy and I can feel myself cringing and laughing inside at my self when I step back and look at it all.

It was so weird seeing him in person again. We both acted normal. I don't really know how else to act anyway. My friends have told me I will get over him, that I'll find someone new and better. I really did laugh though when I saw him at the barbecue and somehow ended up looking at his shoes and realised that he was wearing a pair of my socks to which he was probably completely oblivious to.

I wish that without me your heart would break

I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake

I wish that without me you couldn't eat I wish

I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

this love's got me blind

I can't help myself

Now we could talk

But the words would come out wrong

And there is no black or white

But still, we just move on

And you're never gonna be the same

from this moment you'll rise

to a height only gained by a compromise

share the glimpse of a new beginning

And now you've changed

But just a small part of me believes this

In my head I repeat our conversations
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations
You know me - I love to lose my mind
And every time andybody speaks your name I still feel the same
I ache, I ache, I ache inside

These images are in the exact order I want them to appear. This last picture is an artwork by Amie Dicke. Candles have always symbolized for me continuity (?) because you can light one and a little bit of wax disappears. The next time you light it, it still gives light but looks slightly different. Like how people can keep on loving, even if you get a bit more melted each time. Short and melted away isn't necessarily bad either.

In another respect, candles also turn up at birthdays and anniversaries. I remember a stupid line in Greek, where it supposedly takes "however long you've been with someone to get over them". I agree and disagree with this at the same time.

I can't say this will be the very last post of this kind yet. The last post exploring chartered territory in a sense because it's not like people haven't written about this kind of thing before and even more eloquently so. I feel like I have a bit more self pity and wallowing to do yet. But rest assured I am not the 'eat my feelings', crying, mopey, sleeping for an entire week (a la Carrie Bradshaw) or drunk dialling, scorned woman. Not in any way whatsoever but these things tend to take time. That's not to say I'm not the 'get drunk and then talk about my feelings' type who makes a million break up playlists in iTunes and still can't help talking about him. I daresay I revealed a little too much in that previous line.

How fleeting we are

2009-12-05T11:44:00.000+11:00

Kübler-Ross model

Stages

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.

can you stay up for the weekend, till next year?

2009-12-03T17:15:00.000+11:00

Power dressing!!! Woooooh, what an epiphany! No, not the pink monstrosity above (although, if I came across anyone dressed like that I'd probably give them what they wanted.) but how women dress in the workplace, despite it's fickleness seems to be relatively important. I've been thinking about majors lately and I'm just going to write it down, because I need to put it down somewhere. I'm going to major in economics and marketing or international business and Chinese studies. Then I'm going to find a job so I can power dress the pants off everyone.

Mumford & Sons do a delicious cover of Calvin Harris' song "I'm Not Alone", it sounds like their own, throw in the banjo and his amazing voice. Their entire album is fantabulous. Go and listen to "Sigh No More".

I found this dress yesterday at a thrift store but I didn't buy it!! I don't know what I was thinking either, it was only $8.00!!!!

This dietary pyramid is based on one of my guy friends. It's a great way to sum up someone I think.

I've had a strangeish kind of week. I failed another one of my classes, namely maths, so I am yet to get through an entire semester without failing something, I've spent the week with one of my good friends and her sister which has been so much fun and I've finished off 3 series of Greek.

And Christmas will be upon us soon!!!

sun sun sun, all over our bodies, all down my neck, so what the heck

2009-11-16T11:43:00.000+11:00

While it might not be evident in the picture, I am raining sweat and boiling like anything as a result of the typical 40 degree Australian heat.

I have spent the past few days sunbaking, god knows why because I'm not really into doing things like that usually.

I know that a '"tan" is skin cells in trauma, that the brownness comes only with black, dead cells being burnt to a crisp under the surface.

I do not intend for the following to sound bitchy.

I don't think a blog is supposed to be about blogging itself. The best blogs around are interesting people blogging about themselves and the things they do in their day to day lives, both the usual and the unusual. But when you're comprising you life in order to further the success of your blog's, is that really what you want to spend your life doing? Sure it's cute and fun to be dressing up in all the most brilliant gear in the world and swanning about in a thousand and one brands, but how long can that go on for?

Well I failed, didn't I? That paragraph sounds terrible and I'm not trying to take a swipe at anyone in particular. I understand that blogging can be a job. It just shouldn't infringe on your life. Then again what would I know?

Mixed media

A work on brown paper from deviant art. Both works happen to come off that site. And if i wasn't such a technological lazyass I'd work out who actually made them and link it.

Finally gotten myself to start reading some books again, this wasn't high priority or anything but I have to say Stephen King knows how to write. This is the first book of his that I've read and he does horror well. The Shining is one of my favorite films. "'Salem's Lot" is about real vampires, not the teenage, man model types who make grown women swoon but the ones who are put on earth to do what they're supposed to. To suck your blood.

And it fucking kicks ass. The end.

i see you

2009-11-12T11:45:00.000+11:00

A random photo of some of my jewelery, just because.

I plan on making a dress with this material. I could spend a million years in Spotlight and never get bored, but it's more the possibility of what I could do with the material more than anything. My sewing skills are basic and my perception of fitting and lengths is abysmal.

These are some new outfit posts. I haven't really done any in a while. I am finally on a break from uni, for two weeks at least. I must admit I get some inexplicable kind of pleasure from wearing random things. I came out of the house with the knee high socks and black brogues on and it was like when I first started this kind of thing all over again. In the city, no one really takes notice of what you're wearing, it's irrelevant but back here, oh the looks themselves are worth the effort of getting dressed. And I'm not even wearing anything that outrageous.

Man, I really have to fix this blog layout. It looks shizenhouse.

I was a dancer all along

2009-10-28T20:18:00.000+11:00

The Twilight New Moon Soundtrack is pretty great, it's the Triple J feature album this week, a testimony to both the J's and the music producers of the film.

I cannot wait until exams are over. It will be sweet, sweet freedom soon enough. And then summer is here!

I used to do this type of art a lot more when I was in high school, it's so much fun. I just don't like how people buy things they don't really like that much, just so that they can say that they have them. It doesn't make sense. Especially when the right to brag about possessing something costs in excess of eighty dollars.

I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back

2009-10-09T17:14:00.000+11:00

It's the beauty of confession
In the sound when the levees break
And all the air is wrong, wrong

Butterflies, gravity, pulls me into
anticipate offers, touch sweet and so new

When I go to bed
How can I fall asleep at night
How will I rest my head?
Oh I'm scared of the middle place
Between light and nowhere
I don't want to be the one
Left in there

I never thought you could leave me, I figured I was the one
but I understand your sadness so I guess I should just hold my tongue.

Oh we dream a life
It was just like, was like that
And just like that, and just like that it's done.

I wanna live where the sun comes out

2009-10-05T23:11:00.000+11:00

The deliciousness pictured above is a model named Josh Beech.

Poladroid is one of the best inventions ever.

I went shopping in Sydney the other morning. I bought some basics and a skirt from a store that I had never happened upon before.

These are my sandals. I'll be totally frank, they're only from Target. So you can imagine my surprise when a girl chased me out of my tutorial to question me about where I acquired them. What I don't like about them is that they were named Pompeii. Maybe it's just a personal thing.

Here are some shots from my room.

i'm not saying it was your fault, although you could have done more

2009-09-30T23:42:00.000+10:00

Who am I to say your life is worse than mine? How do I even evaluate a statement of that calibre? What, I say my life is better because I have physical items which you do not? A status that you can't lay claim to? An environment which you can never hope to experience, much less inhabit?

Why should I feel superior in comparison to others? Do I have this right? What has conditioned me into thinking I should be allowed these kinds of opinions?

Why did I almost go through a whole year, before I began to ask questions again?

Please let this be my awakening.

don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

2009-09-27T20:17:00.001+10:00

Hmmmm, this blog needs a little sprucing up. If I'm going to bother continuing, I think the look needs a little bit of a spring clean. These imminent changes may or may not be related to my recent haircut.

Please go and play with Yearbook Yourself. Procrastination with a result, hahahaha.

I would really like a new header. All it needs is the words 'awkward digressions' somewhere. I'll take a look at all the entries and change the colour scheme/ layout to suit. Send all entries to pretty--in--pink@hotmail.com

Toodles!

I'd do everything for you, I did everything for you

2009-09-15T07:25:00.000+10:00

More mail!! Once again from the lovely Steph. This Sufjan Stevens song 'For The Widows in Paradise' is utterly captivating, just a plucked banjo and his soft crooning voice.

I am studying for Chinese at the moment, our exam is on Wednesday which happens to coincide with a strike but luckily for us this change won't affect us in the slightest. Test wise at least.

Summer is here! I hope you all have a nice day

Oh, what melody will lead my lover from his bed?

2009-09-09T13:00:00.001+10:00

Well I have returned home and come to realisation that it is already halfway through my final session of my first year of uni. For those who are completely confuzzled by that, I am pretty much three quarters of the way through. It was strange this time, I actually wanted to come home for a while. But I know that home will almost nearly always be visiting, rather than staying permanently place now.

The first day back, I picked up some really neat things, like a bikini from Hotel Bondi Swim, which is a cute Australian swimwear line. I also got a tie-dyed cotton dress and an oversized panda t-shirt.

Here is a shot of the top I found at the Glebe markets, which I neglected to post last time. I'm wondering how it was originally worn and by who. That's the beauty of second hand clothing.

My friend Steph over the other side of the globe sent us an awesome parcel, filled with clothes and an assortment of American treats!! It's so much fun, getting mail.

I can't wait to see 500 Days of Summer, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. It looks delectable.

The first two images are from Deviants, click the picture to go straight to their pages. The final image is by Russian American artist Nikolai Fechin, who had a wonderfully unique style.

I'm going back to college on Sunday, for the last part of the session. I never really thought that so much could happen in the space of a year. Oh what an ambiguous sign off...

Typing letters to the dead. Late at night on a closed piano lid

2009-08-31T02:14:00.000+10:00

We went to the Glebe Markets on Saturday. Tori was optimistic that it would reach 28 degrees but Sam and I had our doubts, mainly because it had rained last time we'd attempted this trip/ Surely enough, the day began with a bout of raininess but by midday the sun was in full swing and we'd already forgotten about that biting chill known as winter.

I was relatively well behaved in terms of purchases but I most certainly intend on returning to these markets once again. Tori was the tour guide and took us through Newtown, giving us her funny little opinions along the way.

There was an accordion player at the markets, playing a Turkish march and Sam told me about the Five Boroughs and Coney Island. I just finished watching "Paris Je Taime", a film consisting of a bunch of shorts by a variety of directors all tied by the central theme of 'love'. A similar concept is currently being filmed in the US called "New York, I Love You" with 5 different stories being told, each in a different borough.

I envisage myself drifting off to sleep in lectures tomorrow.

I was looking through some of my photos from Ball just then and I couldn't decide which ones to post, but I'll add them later. But here is my being the classy person that I am, pulling a godawful expression which is thank heavens partly concealed by the camera.

Put on Lady Sovereign's 'So Human' which covers The Cure's 'Close To Me', close your eyes and dance wild dervishes around the living room. I dare you.

Falling - verb [fawl] (used without object)

2009-08-21T13:26:00.000+10:00

falling slowly

eyes that know me

and I can't go back

wounds that take me

and erase me

and I'm painted black

I've fallen out of favor and I've fallen from grace Fallen out of trees and I've fallen on my face Fallen out of taxis, out of windows too Fell in your opinion when I fell in love with you

I don't know you

but I want you

all the more for that

words fall through me

and always fool me

and I can't react

I dance with myself, I drunk myself down Found people to love, left people to drown I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall If there was nowhere to land I wouldn't be scared at all

Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace It's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief

Falling is descent under gravity

words: 'falling' florence & the machine and 'falling' by glen hansard and marketa irglova

And they danced until dawn...

2009-08-14T11:15:00.001+10:00

Ball is on tonight! A promise of photos, here is to a magical night!

I've dreamt about this so, many times before

2009-08-08T22:12:00.001+10:00

This is the moment that you know

That you told her that you loved her, but you don't

You touch her skin and then you think

That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking

As we moved together in the dark

As tiny vessels oozed into your neck

And formed the bruises

That you said you didn't want to fade

But they did and so did I that day

All I see are dark gray clouds

In the distance, moving closer with every hour

So when you'd ask, "Is something wrong?"

I'd think, You're damn right there is

But we can't talk about it now

No, we can't talk about it now

So one last touch and then you'll go

And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more

But it was vile, and it was cheap

And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

A lack of tripod has resulted in a somewhat elongated version of myself. The bad part isn't the fact that I have been chopped up but I am wearing a outfit I always happen to wear when I bother to take photos. What I've done below is not a viable option. I'm going to need to get someone to help me with that. That's not awkward at all. But then again, that's what this blog is about.

I think this is quite beautiful. The body art happens to belong to May Cheung, who was recently crowned Miss Tattoo NSW.

Words: Tiny Vessels - Death Cab For Cutie

even when i pack my bags, something always holds me back

2009-08-06T02:13:00.000+10:00

Well, it's actually quite late, but after a midnight snack and guava cruiser I'm not really in the mood for bed.

I think most people are in bed. Most would definitely be asleep. And I am here thinking about the silly things that even a modicum of love can make you do and nail polish.

As silly as it sounds, last night in our social calendar happened to be the infamous "PPP" - Pimps, Prositutes and Pornstars. The costumes didn't disappoint and neither did the venue, minus the lack of dancefloor, Qbar was the place to be.

I love this shot of Molly. My friend Tori took it, no special lighting or manipulation, just Molly's general tendency to look gorgeous and ethereal without trying.

I'm not going to lie - I felt like a complete skank. And I wasn't sure when people said that I looked nice, whether it was like some back handed compliment, like 'Oh that dress looks great on you. I remember when those dresses were in like 3 years ago'.

Back to the nailpolish. Such a simple thing, a coat of lacquer across the nails, can transform you. I wore fire engine red, to fit the trashy theme and didn't get around to removing it and continued to feel rather cheap and nasty for the remainder of the day. Then I painted my nails black. (Revlon Dark Pleasures - Patent Leather) Then I felt like getting in fights and acting tougher.

I have been listening to Ashanti's 'Foolish' on repeat and I feel so goddamn cliche. Oh the words fit my situation so perfectly, oh I'm such a sad sap. If I don't stop this ridiculous behaviour, I'll soon turn into one of those girls who blogs about the intricate, mundane details in one's life while keeping all their friend's names as single letters so as to not reveal identities etc etc.

How do you stop 'liking' someone? Wearing black nail polish hasn't really been the solution. Ideas and cures welcome. Post below.

Hippy An(archy)(u)nivers(e)(f)a(e)ries

2009-07-30T08:10:00.001+10:00

The return to college/ uni life always has me in a spin. It's like existing in a microcosm, albeit a rather alcohol drenched one. As I sit here, sipping chrysathemum tea and listen to the tunes floating out of my speakers, I could almost, just momentarily forget about my cold.

Well this is Awkward Digression's 100th post! I know I have been impertinently lazy with returning comments/ links and the like, but here is a promise to improve! And I hope the next 100 posts are just as fun and exciting.

Today is Foundation Day!! The theme is early 60's which will be soooo much fun!!

While I do love Frankie, I also like to pour an equal amount of mag loving into Yen. For stunning editorials and addressing meaty, relevant topics.

My brown leather t-bar pumps.

My comfy, black elf shoes.Very handy for sneaking too.

And the pretty scarf my friend El gave me. (Ta sparklegreen!)

One of my friend's is currently undertaking gender studies and she always manages to come up with some sort of interesting discussion that was held in her tute.

Current tv obsession is Dexter: Season 2. What an intriguing anti-hero.

Ms Winehouse, in what was definitely a healthier stage in her career, looking resplendent in her ink and trademark hairdo. I'm not against tattoos, what I think is completely ridonk though, are girls who go and get their names or words done on their arms in Chinese letters without actually knowing what it actually says. I know of a girl who checked whether the tattoo actually said 'Amie' after she'd had it done. Dumbass.

my oh my

2009-07-09T18:59:00.001+10:00

some of my favourite Modcloth dresses

just like raindrops, even though you're a million miles away

2009-07-09T12:21:00.000+10:00

Why do I want to talk about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs? Mainly because I just want to post pictures of Karen O. Hehehe. The blog on the Yeah Yeah Yeah's official website, is definitely worth having a look at/ reading, because even if you're not a massive YYY's fan (okay, let's be totally honest, who isn't?), there's some pretty cool material on there e.g. Brian Chase articulately explaining why he is a vegetarian, some remixes and food in general. Okay it's more great than that, I'm just not doing it justice by explaining.

Their new song 'Heads Will Roll' will most definitely be dance floor fuel, if it isn't already. Not that all dance floor tunes are necessarily bad or anything. Synths seem to be making quite the comeback, see La Roux for proof. Blatant, unashamed flashbacks to the 80's are entirely welcome.

This illustration pretty much says it all.

engrish	776 up, 123 down
	July 3, 2006 and January 20, 2005 Urban Word of the Day n. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Often,not only in Japan, but all around the world. A sign in a Japanese hotel room may read "No Smorking" instead of "No Smoking". courtesy of urbandictionary.com

Eeeeep! I can't wait to see this. Every year, a little after my birthday the HP films come out and I never fail to get excited. Despite the fact that I am 19 and counting, the 'magical world of Hogwarts' continues to enchant me (and others! Not that I need to justify my eager over excitedment which may or may not be directly related to the aforementioned film).

I also really want to see 'Coco Avant Chanel', but I shall have to wait until I am back in the Syd of the Ney and am in a more convenient proximity to a Dendy theatre.

The majority of television programs these days boasts some element of 'reality', however warped and unrealistic it may be. But 'Masterchef Australia', which is a cook off between a bunch of amateur chefs from around the country seems to be a little different. But only a little, mainly because these guys can actually cook. From what I have deduced from my minimal viewing of the show, the judges bring out some type of food that the contestants have to recreate in a given time limit, with instructions and ingredients provided. Nowhere near as good as it's Japanese counterpart, MCA does give the strangely dressed host of Iron Chef/ the embarrassing American overdubbing of the voices a fair run for it's money.

Mogwai is a Scottish band that began in 1995. To place them into a certain category would inevitably return labels of post rock, shoegaze and art rock, but the band have vigorously shunned genres for the fear that their music will be over analysed. Most Mogwai songs have no lyrics, but build from really simple soft drifty tunes to dynamic, pounding atmospheric pieces. It's similar to the beach in a way, sometimes the waves crash defiantly against the shoreline, while at others, it just tends to creep up and retreat quietly. That's my shitty metaphor for the day, lol.

They did the soundtrack for an art house film about Zinedine Zidane, a French footballer, one of the only who has claimed the FIFA Player of the Year three times and was included in Pele's list of choice football players. The film was shot with 17 synchronised cameras in real time and featured only Mogwai as the soundtrack.

A bit of a nothing post, it's raining outside and it's freezing. Otherwise, not much else to report.

ginger candy. ginger candy for all! - one of the first edicts I would pass if I were in a position of power.

I'm choosing to leave with your heart on my sleeve

2009-07-03T10:05:00.000+10:00

My mother, in her infinite wisdom, decided to rid my shoe closet of a few pairs of shoes which she deemed to have served the length of their useful life. Which means I am now on the hunt for lots of new shoes. The first pair would be a lace-ups, the pretty purple coloured suede pair feature fairly high on the list of desires.

Yay! An outfit post! The top is something I found in my mum's old clothes.

This is what I have been normally traipsing about in of late, there is nothing better to be painting/ lounging around in.

My god, the first filmclip I saw after the many months at college was 'In For The Kill' by La Roux, and it definitely stuck in my head. I can't stop listening to it. How cool is Elly Jackson's anime style windswept do?

This is a band called Hockey, from Portland, Oregon. They have a cute little single called 'Too Fake'

And these selection of visual goodies comes courtesy of style.com and their coverage of outfits at Glastonbury 2009.

I love everything about this outfit, the hair, the dainty lace details clashing with the rough overall look.

Big fan of the print on this tunic.

Fringe and jacket = tick, tick tick of approval

Scha-weet matching pair

I think this is my favourite look overall. For about a million different reasons.

I've never been a fan of Corey Kennedy and I was planning on trashing her outfit but I'm just at the point where I no longer care and I'm going to try and be nicer about people from now on. Unless they really annoy me. In which case, this outfit does. Annoy me a lot.

Time to play spot the difference. This is Dwight Schrute, of the American 'The Office' series.

and this is a boy who attends one of the colleges which may or may not use the same dining hall facilities as moi, meaning I see him on a daily basis whilst getting salad etc.

Answer: There are no differences. The similarity is uncanny!! I'm not sure that's even a logical conclusion to the point I was attempting to make, but they look so unbelievably alike it's not funny. Also, I hope this guy never sees this page, as I am not totally sure of the laws regarding posting photos of other people without their consent. But to be fair, this photo made it into a publication which was distributed via the world wide web in the first place so I surely can't be violating too many laws.

I saw this film, 'Hey Hey it's Esther Blueburger', the other day with my sister. It's an independent Australian film, I think, and while I did like it, I wasn't completely sure what to make of it. I loved the soundtrack though and the theme song "The Only One" by Paul Mac, featuring Bertie Blackman.

I say the following despite the fact I have no real solution myself. The Australian Federal Government announced it's 'Intervention' into the Northern Territory more than two years ago, and since then not only has the situation deteriorated, but the current PM K Rudd admits they know pretty much nothing about state of indigenous communities. The Opposition aren't any better off, suggesting expanding the intervention to WA. I don't think we should ignore the problems but aimlessly throwing money around to create the image that the government is doing something hasn't exactly proven to be productive.

My Current Reading List (god, I hope I get through these):

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Vanity Fair by Thackeray
hello, i must be going by Christie Hodgen
Exile and Kingdom by Albert Camus
Manufacturing Consent by Edward S. Herman and Noam Chomsky

You see the smile that's on my mouth, it's hiding the words that don't come out

2009-06-27T14:58:00.000+10:00

I think I'm more than slightly over attached to my Japanese T-shirts, I wish I'd bought more.

Earlier this year as I started college, when I first began to think about the events of the year ahead, I really had no idea of how much things could change in six months.

Let's pause for just a moment. These posts, despite my affections for them, have sent this blog on a downward spiral towards obsolescence; leaving a soulless shell behind that carries no more weight than the confessional drawing board of a 14 year old emo, with posts like 'The M said to S that she couldn't date H because R was her brother's guitar teacher. And now I am in the middle of this totally confusing sitch yadda yadda yadda'. I daresay you catch my drift.

Which is why I'm going to try up my game again. Hopefully with the return home, I should be able to rustle up some more art, many more intriguing website's and the odd fashion related titbit.

Craig Schuftan, my favourite radiohost/ author has released another music/culture book entitled 'Hey! Nietzsche! Leave Them Kids Alone!' Despite the slashies in the preceding sentence, Schuftan actually has a talent for combining aka drawing out the strangest of connections between modern music and the culture of yesteryear, resulting in a captivating and informative read.

Our annual ball is coming up and this year, it happens to coincide with the 50th anniversary of our college which means the theme is '1950's Hollywood'.I'm thinking, Rita Hayworth?

So far I've found this post for Old Hollywood Glamour Reinterpreted. It's just such a pity I can't really see myself forking out a couple of grand for a dress. I will have to be on the constant lookout though.

And a final little picture, because I love my little black cat. I'm going to get a German Sheperd when I move into my own house and call him Rex and he can be best friends with Chairman Miaow. Can't you see all the historical links between the relationship between my future animals?

p.s. Hi Steph!

they don't love you like i love you

2009-06-10T22:10:00.001+10:00

Oh wow. I sound like Cassie.

Once again, I have neglected to regularly post but sporadic is slightly better than nothing. I may or may not be blogging in an attempt to foist studying for my end of session exams to a later date.

Finally, finally, finally... here is an outfit post!

My small, quilted purse. So handy. But the strap is definitely on the break.

My tie-dyed tights!

I've just become acquired to the idea of flanelette shirts.

My friend Steph's gorgeous tutu skirt. This is actually an awesome overall outfit.

Fringe Bar Markets

Paddington Markets

My friend Steph and I visited the markets last weekend and I only managed to find a vintage Sylvia Bloom vest but another trip is in the making and therefore more pictures and finds should eventuate.

I don't have my good camera which is disappointing for visual candy reasons. So many crazy stores on Oxford Street. We went to the Paddington markets which had cute things but I think it is slightly wrong to sell a black jacket for $480. Even that is too extravagant a price for a coat with a silk, printed kerchief lining...but it was so pretty!

The Fringe Bar markets are also quite the novelty. Fringe Bar by night, clothes markets by Saturdays = optimal utilisation of space. Handmade jewellery, designer castoffs and chic girls selling portions of their wardrobes to the general public.

If you haven't already, you NEED to see the following films. A necessity.

The Watchmen - panned by critics, mixed reviews. Think superhero movie with an actual punch.

Young People Fucking - a comedy? An indie film with some real emotions

Lucky Number Slevin - a tightly written, truly smart film. Oh and did I mention Josh Hartnett's presence in aforementioned film? Well now you know. Not that that little factor should entice you to watch it. Did I also mention the rather lengthy scene in which Josh Hartnett wears practically nothing but a towel? Oh dear, I'm getting carried away

Our latest college shenanigan was the end of session party, complete with a Snowstorm theme. Fitting seeing as a chill seems to have suddenly set in across the city of Sydney.

Gangsterrrrr

2009-05-11T23:47:00.000+10:00

I am folded and unfolded and unfolding

2009-05-06T14:10:00.000+10:00

Golly gosh, I haven't written in oh so long! I've been having an absolute ball. For break we went on a trip to Japan, to Kyoto, Tokyo and Mt Fuji. It is such a beautiful place, especially all the older places. I'll have to do a separate post, I'm still sorting out the million and one photos I took.

Here are just a few of the things I bought while I was shopping over there.

A cream coloured shift

A blue shirt dress from Dear Flura

A kimono dressing gown. The fitting for this was so fun, I had about three shopkeepers fussing over me and they wrapped it in tissue paper and boxed it up.

A shiny black pair of patent leather Mary Jane heels.

Every week or so, our college decides to have a theme for the week. Grit Week is practical joke week, which means locking your doors and windows. Which didn't even help the ones who got bean bag balls thrown by the bucket full into their rooms first thing in the morning. Never underestimate the annoying nature of those little white balls.

This week is Angels and Mortals, where you get a 'mortal' and you have to do nice things for them all week. It's really just a present fest. The stuff on the plate is from my angel for day one and day two.

My first outfit post in like a billion years. I didn't bring my tripod so I had to set the camera up on the vanity shelves and stand on the bed. I will have to find way to remedy this obstacle.

Daaahlings

2009-04-03T14:25:00.000+11:00

My goodness, how I've missed blogging. So much in fact that I have decided to return once again. Uni is absolutely amazing, I promise I'll go into more depth later but I actually have a lecture to run to soon. The stunners in the photo above are Steph and Molly, college kids.

Thank you for all the lovely comments, don't fear I haven't forgotten you. I miss the blogosphere far too much to leave permanently yet.

Talk soon.

The Life

2009-03-09T06:41:00.000+11:00

These past two weeks have been nothing short of amazing. The 60 freshers that arrived onthat first Saturday have completely bonded, without being too cliche or corny, in a way that I didn't really foresee. I've met so many crazily talented and simply crazy people.

There's Molly, who always manages to attract the attentions of wealthy men driving Lamborghini's. Josh, who can listen to a song for about two seconds before playing it on guitar. Ellie, who is the most gangsta girl I've ever come across 'Huzzah!'. And those are just the med kids :)

Oddly enough, I've become extremely attached to these people. I have my first lecture today and my first tute.

Our hideous orange Fresher shirts. The theme was construction, which is apt considering the amount of construction work, currently occurring on campus. The downside was that all of us ended up looking like Guantanamo Bay escapees on the loose.

Everyone at this uni seems to have such awesome taste in music. Sigur Ros seems to be a staple, which makes for a nice change from Taylor Swift and other such random crappy pop infiltrating our airwaves of late.

just dance

2009-03-05T11:12:00.000+11:00

Wow, this is the 90th post! I know, I wanted to get back into outfit posts soon but things got of out hand and once again, I totally forgot. Here are a few random activities we got up to during O Week.

Vinnie's Formal. Taffeta seemed to be the go for the night.

Our Pub Crawl, the theme was 'What I Don't Want To Be When I Grow Up'. For the record, I was a footballer.

Old Man River. We danced around during his set and my friends spoke to him afterwards.

Our Formal Dinner. Fancee!!

This photo is my pride and joy at the moment. We were on a scavenger hunt around the city, when we had to build a random human pyramid. We spotted some American tourists and I couldn't stop staring at this one guy who turned out to be Forrest Kline, the lead singer of Hellogoodbye. After screaming at him for a full five minutes we got his photo and email address.

I promise to get more photos up soon. Promise....