i wanted to see something thats different

I only remain awake due to the fact that I am unwilling to let this day end.

So it's been a while again, but today I think I went on a date. I say I think, because I have been pretty pessimistic about this whole thing. Not that I'm not hopeful that it will turn into amazing, but I have such a weird complex about nice guys. And I think I've found one.

I've known D (please excuse the lame letters substituted for names, it's not like I'm famous or anything, or there's anything that juicy to even divulge) for about a year. We have class together and we had coffee a few times last year, but a drunken texting accident may have occurred somewhere along the line and things got weird for a while.

But I realised I was ready for something like D to happen. He is a good person. He reminds me of the guy I was in love with for pretty much the entirety of my high school years.

Jesus, I'm digressing already. So in short, I bought him "A Confederacy of Dunces" for his birthday, which he already had but he wanted to thank me anyway so he organised lunch OUTSIDE of college/uni which is a big deal, for me at any rate, because it makes it so much more real.

Anyway, we had yum cha, walked around Darling Harbour, watched the water from a wharf, talked non-stop until it turned quite dark and then he walked me back to catch a bus. We spent a good five hours or so together, so I think it was a date. But I don't know whether he saw it like that. And that's where my doubtful self comes in. I want to doubt every part of this tentative relationship away because I'm scared.

Scared that he might actually like me back, that he won't, that I invest way too much into relationships, that I don't value proper ones, that I am no longer single (?).

It's really exciting, getting into something again, it's been a while.

This was my friend Sam's 21st. She's the one in the middle and she is simply stunning. Inside and out.

I apologise from the depths of my heart for the quality and the WAY these photos simply are. I KNOW I'm not twelve and that 'mirror photos' are the utmost height of tacky but it's hard when you have a lopsided, therefore non-working tripod.

This rainbow scarf picture was taken a while ago, my hair is so long now. It needs a good chop.

And this is my room. Don't you just ADORE it? Yeah I do too hahahaha.

And now I need to go to bed. For realz. (Ewwwww a "z'd-eddised" word)